Irradiated by her

Only a couple of days ago was her birthday.
It's a huge coincidence that the girl who is my sun was born at the beginning of summer...
It's not her pretty face that shines the most, I don't even need to see her face to be irradiated by her.
And I say to myself, the sun gave light to her or--perhaps--she gave light to the sun?

Originally published in December 24, 2013, elsewhere.

My heart's Achilles' heel

My heart's hands grope, fumble, fondle
But he can't find anything like he met before
She hit the Achilles' heel of my heart
And I guess he'll never recover again
I can't feel anymore...

I apologize

I love you baby, and I always loved you. But I'm sorry that I can't be the Prince Charming that you dream of, I apologize that I don't have a car to pick you up, I don't have a fancy party to take you to... I can't even pay to the bus to get to your place.

I apologize, baby. But all the same, I love you and will love you as long as you want me to.

(Originally posted in June 10, 2014, elsewhere.)

I miss her and can't think straight

Day after day I fight against the desire to beg of her to talk to me. Because I know this might bother her. I just wanted to hear her voice. I wouldn't say anything if she doesn't want me to speak. Just want to hear her voice.

Why I ruined the only thing that brought me real joy in this cold life by telling her I love her? Maybe this is just a delusion like she says. But I don't care what this is. I just wanted to hear that voice. That's all. I wouldn't ask anything else.

(Very corny! Originally posted in April 6, 2013. Elsewhere.)

How I found out that she wasn't just a girl, but THE GIRL (Continuation)

I really don't know why I want her. And this is the point. I don't know why I want her in my life, but this is terrifying to think about life without her. I just realized one day that I would like to see her every day, to talk to her every day. I was kind of embarrassed for feeling this way. I was afraid of letting her know it. One day she got to know it...

I never felt this way in my life before. I didn't feel jealous, I just felt afraid, I just fear the idea of being away from her, but she lived miles away! I really don't understand this feeling. And you know what? I don't want to understand. I just want to be with her.

(Originally posted in April 2, 2013, elsewhere.)

How I found out that she wasn't just a girl, but THE GIRL

When I met her I said to myself, "Now, that's the girl that I've always wanted in my life." But she was so far away. And I thought to myself, "Perhaps I wouldn't be the best for her," for I was about 1864 miles away from her.

I'm very ashamed to say that when I was dating other girls I usually thought about the fact that I wasn't lucky enough to have near me that stunning girl that was 1864 miles away. And I'm very ashamed to say that I exaggerated in the praise of other girls.

How hypocrite I feel when I think that I was dating other girls only out of fear of loneliness. How coward I was! I mean, those girls were fine, I liked them, but it's such a shame to think that all that I wanted was for them to be like the girl that was 1864 miles away...

(To be continued...)

(Originally posted in January 16, 2013, elsewhere.)

To spend an afternoon with you

How many times I wished I could walk by the sea hand-in-hand with you. The pleasure of looking at you mingled with the sea breeze. To spend an afternoon with you... and to see the evening come, the stars spread out in the sky. You can't imagine how I dream of this moment... and later we would see the midnight come... and we would come intertwined all night long...

(Originally posted in June 23, 2013, elsewhere.)

How could I love her?

And this beautiful lady that captivated my eyes and heart asked me, "How could you love me if you do not know me?"

To answer her I employ the words of Van Helsing, one of my favorite fictional characters:

"Not know you! I, who am old, and who have studied all my life men and women; I, who have made my specialty the brain and all that belongs to him and all that follows from him! And I have read your diary that you have so goodly written for me, and which breathes out truth in every line. (...) Good women tell all their lives, and by day and by hour and by minute, such things that angels can read; and we men who wish to know have in us something of angels' eyes."

Extracted from Dracula by Bram Stoker, page 202. Slightly adapted.

(Originally posted in May 10, 2013, elsewhere.)

I would do anything you want me to, Baby

I would do anything you want me to do for you, Baby. I would do anything that can make you really happy. I can't guess what you want, 'cause you're so enigmatical and I'm no clairvoyant, but... I will surely try to find out what you really want deepest in your heart. What - you may not know - is more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack.

In fact, it's way more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack, it's more difficult than finding a needle in an ocean, but I just wanted to use the old saying first! I don't want to create a new expression, I just want to make you happy.

No! In fact, it's MORE DIFFICULT than finding a haystack in an ocean and then finding a needle in that haystack. I really would love you to see that, so that you could know exactly how I feel!!!

(Originally posted in August 3, 2013, elsewhere.)

She is my sun

There is still beauty. The same as I know that there is still light in the world, even when the sun is covered by black clouds, for the sun is still lighting the world from afar, from behind the clouds.

I walk around, I see around and I see beauty. I see beautiful women. But I know that I only can see beauty because of her, for she is my sun. In every woman I only perceive bodies, as if I perceived objects but couldn't see at all without the light of the sun.

This is the absurd condition in which I'm living.

(Originally posted in November 12, 2013, elsewhere.)

Your presence in my life

Perhaps it would be difficult for you to understand that every single moment I'm thinking of you. You made my life blossom, I do many things in my life, but I'm not sure if those things would be so essential if it wasn't for your presence in my life.

(Corny, isn't it? Originally posted in November 24, 2013, elsewhere.)

More than you will ever know

Sometimes she wonders thoughtfully,
"Does he love me?"
If only she could hear my answer
Baby, I love you more than you will ever know
I love you even in an embarrassing way
I love you to a degree that puzzles me
And got me wondering why you wonder

(Originally posted in November 02, 2013, elsewhere.)()

Don't take away the most important thing in my life, which is you

That's what I'd like to say to her. She hasn't talked to me in a long time, she hasn't answered my emails; and I'm desperate. Gosh. Baby, please, don't take away the most important thing in my life, which is you.

(Orignally posted in January 6, 2014, elsewhere.)

You're not only the love of my life - You're my life

But every time that I felt down in my life in the last years I always thought of her. It always makes me stronger and willing to carry on. I've never known exactly why I feel this way, but ever since I met her she's been one reason to live. I didn't want to ever tell her that, but I think I will have to eventually do it, no matter how embarrassing it may be. Especially because the other day I was foolish enough to get angry at her when she said that she doubted my love and I wound up saying things that hurt her, and by hurting her hurt me, of course.

(Originally posted in October 25, 2013, elsewhere.)

Divided between romance and responsibility

I have my responsibilities, but I can hardly focus on them because my heart is divided. Divided between the love of my life and the life of the love of my life and that of many others. For if I let go of my social responsibilities, even her life could be endangered. How could I make her understand that?

Originally posted in March 26, 2014, elsewhere.)

Penumbra

A veces, a fines del crepúsculo,
Yo me quedo pensando:
¿Y si yo no pudiera más ver el sol en mi vida?
No estoy hablando de no poder ver más por morir,
Pues con la muerte viene el olvido de todo,
Pero, ¿y si yo continuara viviendo aún por décadas y no pudiera más ver el sol?
Pero no apenas no ver el sol, pero permanecer en una penumbra por siempre...
Ese es un miedo que yo tengo...
Y es así también que me siento cuando contemplo la posibilidad de no oír más tu voz...
Y de no poder verte y permanecer en la penumbra de los recuerdos...

Flor del norte

Flor del norte
Reina de mi corazón

Te mojas en mi mano
Te mojas en mi boca
Te mojas todita de un solo apretón

Me ganas toda la alma
Y el corazón...

3000 km

To see you is good for the eyes
To hear you is good for the ears
To feel you is good for the senses
And I ask myself, day after day,
"What is it like to touch you?"
"What is it like to smell you?"
Will I know the answer?
I don't know...

Hors concours

Tu es hors concours
Hors saison dans mon cœur
Or je t'aime comme il faut
Tu es toujours dans mon cœur

Tu es hors concours
Dans mon cœur
Hors le temps mais
Toujours dans mon cœur

Pourtant tu es toujours hors concours
Tout proche, dans mon cœur
Mais en même temps lointain

Divagações

...Há quem diga que nem o Universo é infinito
Mas ainda assim eu digo que onde quer que você vá
Você sempre estará dentro de meu coração
Não importa a distância, nem as circunstâncias
Você estará sempre dentro de mim
Na imensidão infinita de meu coração
Que ignora as limitações espaciais
Assim deixarei você livre, como um pássaro, para ir onde quiser
Pois onde quer que você vá, estará sempre dentro de meu coração